05 Jul Wise upbringing of an adopted child
Were you ever in an orphanage on excursions or on the case? I am yes. These eyes will remain in my memory forever. This cry, exactly the cry: “Dad! Mother!”, And you suddenly become a mother -in -law or mother. Someone says that he could never try on the upbringing of a foster child, but … they will not perceive you as a stranger, they will be glad to you, they are waiting for you.
But there are many problems and questions about this. The upbringing of a foster child is much more complicated than his. And there are many reasons for this.
So, let’s pay attention to some features of raising an adopted child.
It is clear that the earlier the baby gets into a new family, the better. An ideal case is to get acquainted with the baby before his birth. If you have met your future mother-daughter in advance, do everything in your power to show your care. Talk about drugs and smoking during pregnancy.
If possible, be sure to participate in childbirth. After the birth of the crumbs, when the doctor witnesses that everything is in order with the newborn, take him in your hands. Communication must be set as early as possible. It would be nice to be in the ward with the baby constantly and take care of him.
That is, the principle acts in raising an adopted child: the sooner the better. But, no matter how many adoptive children of years, he expects from new parents the same as from his relatives: love, care, understanding and attention and, oddly enough, discipline. Some parents are afraid to show discipline measures for adopted children so as not to seem strict, so that no one said anything bad. But this is wrong. For a child, discipline is a kind of fence, such as it is impossible, it is impossible here. This is a guide, a life guide, and you must give it.
Never reproach yourself that you are doing something wrong. Native parents are also not always perfect. The baby should not see your fluctuations, you bring up the way you can now, and you will be even better every day. Love your baby as far as you can, appreciate him, respect.
Reception children often have low self -esteem. Some psychologists call the reason for this rejection by their mother. Therefore, such children can be uncertained, unexplored or aggressive, timid. It is very important to praise such children more often for specific actions, gently push to some achievements, learn to communicate with peers.
Whether to adhere to the education of the principle of openness in raising a child depends on you. Western psychologists unanimously claim that the baby should know the truth about his appearance in the family and communicate with his mother. In experience in our country, I saw a case when the boy categorically did not want to know the truth – he cut off his parents whenever they wanted to tell the secret. Some children “forget” specially their past in the orphanage or in the family, where they had a hard time as if there was nothing. Children’s psyche does not always want such a load as the truth with birth. Therefore, in this matter you can not chop off the shoulder, but it is better to navigate your adopted son or daughter and for their reasons.
Raising a foster child – big responsibility. However, if you wanted this baby to be with you, and you love him, then you have learned the basic principle of education.